The Big House
by Shamoke
Summary: What happens in the House stays in the House.
1. The Unbelievable Garden

**Hi to everyone, I've decided to start a KTTK fan fiction featuring various characters from the Keys to the Kingdom series. Each chapter will feature a different even or shall I say _fiasco_. Suggestions and reviews would be great! Also, it was very late when I wrote this and I had little sleep the revious night so pleae excuse any errors and misspelling, and I will edit it as soon as possible. Finally, thanks to CJ for giving me the garden idea:D  
**

**The Unbelievable Garden**

Usually, when one would think of gardening calm and peaceful thoughts would come to mind; people quietly and happily planting whilst humming their favorite tune. Of course though, things are done quite differently in the House when the Morrow Days gather at Sunday's Incomparable Garden to enjoy a time of everyone's favorite hobby, _gardening._

It was a very beautiful setting mutilated by the group of the seven Superior Denizens and their abnormal social behavior. Monday had chose a sunny spot to plant his flowers and plants, he picked the spot because the Sun seemed to beam down from that angle better than it did anywhere else in the garden, making the spot brighter and making it seem like it was under a giant, extremely hot theatrical spot light. Monday liked the spot because he had been addicted to singing, dancing and performing ever since he had _spied _on the second realm and saw the live Broadway performance of _Singing in the Rain. _Monday had begun to plant one of his flowers whilst singing "We're off to see the wizard". Obviously Monday had taken a habit to drinking coffee.

"Uh, Monday is there any way you could plant _quietly_?" Asked the now fully annoyed Lady Friday as she picked up a rose, beginning to plant it in the ground.

"Ohhhhhhhh my, you don't like my b-e-a-utifullll singing voice?" Mister Monday said, his voice cracking several times making him sound like a dieing nithling, which was quite strange due to all superior denizens having good voices.

Somewhere in between planting and "fusing" plants together Tuesday had overheard Monday say his "_b-e-a-utifullll singing voice"_ and had busted out in an uncontrollable fit of laughter. "OK Robin Thicke, OK" The Grim said saying _"OK" _in a very, very disturbing deep voice.

It was quite apparent that Sir Thursday was growing very angry, something that Lord Sunday was trying his best to avoid. Attempting to keep Thursday's anger on the down low he had gave Sir Thursday the "Shadiest spot in the garden next to a quite large oak tree which was a very bad mistake. Every few minutes Thursday would proceed to attacking the tree with his shovel, luckily forgetting about the key he had in the pocket of his pants. The sight of the beaten tree would make any tree sympathizer as angry as Thursday himself. The tree looked as if it came straight out a lumber mill, and its situation wasn't getting any better. After hearing Monday's horrid singing and Tuesday's outrageous laughter Thursday picked up his shovel and slammed it against the tree several times whilst shouting,

"The mayn is Spain got beat primarily by T-Pain!" The random battle shout was answered by the loud sound of the shovel banging against the tree.

Realizing what Sir Thursday was actually using to beat the tree, Tuesday stood up from his gardening spot and shouted,

"HEY, that MY shovel!" as he ran towards Sir Thursday. Forgetting about the barrier he had dug around his gardening spot, Grim Tuesday fell head first into Drowned Wednesday's spot of dandelions that were half eaten by the now skinny and vegetarian Drowned Wednesday.

"You just fell into my flowers/food; you're going to pay for that!" Drowned Wednesday said pulling out the third key and waving it around her head like a lasso.

As Wednesday waved the trident around a large amount of water gushed out from Tuesday's plants like a geyser, though what she didn't know was that Tuesday had fused cacti and sponges with his plants making them the ultimate source of water. Hundreds and hundreds of gallons of water shot out from Tuesday's plants, slowly but surely feeling the garden up with water and washing away all of Drowned Wednesday's half eaten plants, and still Tuesday's plants didn't wither away.

"Now that's what I call **drowned**!" Grim Tuesday said with a ear deafening cackle, making Sir Thursday grow even angrier.

Sir Thursday dealt one more blow to the tree causing it to make a loud crackling sound with the last hit. Everybody gazed over to the tree in awe, now taking a good luck at it for the first time; even Lord Sunday hadn't realized how big it was.

"That tree's bigger than mine," Lord Sunday said in jealousy as the tree slowly began to fall.

"Mine's bigger than that tree," Superior Saturday said in arrogance, ignoring the fact that the tree was beginning to fall.

"TIMBER!" Grim Tuesday yelled, whilst Thursday started running from the spot in front of the tree and angrily kicking random objects that he came across while he was trying to get out of the radius of the falling tree.

"Oh, so you want me to sing like Justin Timberlake now eh?" The overly hyper Monday said, getting in his singing position.

"NO!" All of the Morrow Days said in unison as they backed away from the falling tree.

"Stand back; I saw this on Harry Potter." The overly conceited lady of the upper house; Superior Saturday said whilst cracking her knuckles and stepping towards the tree, "Discombobulate-uss thes scoliosis, return to nothing!" She said tapping the tree with the sixth key; a blue umbrella.

The tree instantaneously exploded and everyone started cheering while Saturday gave a bow. The moment was great until Monday ruined it by saying,

"Now that's what I call a top, A-Class **speller**, get it? A-class speller!" Only Monday was laughing at the cheap joke centered on word play and puns, only Monday was laughing.


	2. The Incoherent Song Di Digi

**Ok, I'm sorry that it's a little short, it's very late and I was trying to quickly finish this so that I could get something else for you guys up here. It may be a little corny but I tried to make it as funny as possible. Also, to fully get what I'mtalkign about you have to hear the song "Cobrastyle" by the Teddybears, it's a very good and addicting song. Again, this is just something I came up with after hearing the song and isn't anything really really big, just a little song crossover. If you guys like it though I'll write another one of these with a different Morrow Day.**

The Incoherent Song; Di Digi

Arthur flinched as the second part of Will bellowed out "go" and Grim Tuesday muttered out something that something as a gobbet of the black smoke like nothing came flying from the sky into his hands. As Grim Tuesday began to change his mutter to a loud whisper, his voice getting louder and louder, his voice quickly grew to a booming shout. Following Grim Tuesday's shouts a strange instrument coming from nowhere started to play in unison with Grim Tuesday's strange yelling, creating a very weird song. The glowing ball of nothing in Grim Tuesday's hands had become a wooden box in which the instrumentals of the song came from. Grim Tuesday was starting to sound as if he was shouting words backwards whilst saying random words and the instruments increased in volume playing very loudly, as if the entire area had speakers surrounding it.

"Ten haffi use mi get di next dozen press trigger mi nuh press people button!" Grim Tuesday half shouted and sung, dramatically expressing the by popping his jerking forward as if to scare someone and pointing his fingers wildly. He continued to sing lyrics that nearly sounded the same and then prepared to enter the main chorus of the song.

"I've heard this song before…" Arthur said looking and listening to Grim Tuesday carefully as the muscular and apparently _vocal _Morrow Day continued with his song.

"My style is di bom digi bom digi di dang di dang di dang di dang digi digi" Grim Tuesday said whilst shaking a tall palm tree each time he said the words "digi" or "dang", perfectly synchronizing his movements with the songs.

"That sounds so familiar," Arthur whispered to Suzy who was now fully engulfed in the music. "Was it Pokemon??? Or maybe even the Chappelle Show…"

"Beats me," Suzy simply shrugged and continued to listen to the song.

"My style is di bom digi bom digi di dang di dang di dang di dang digi digi" Grim Tuesday sung shaking the poor tree again.

"Time," the Will shouted as he grabbed the pocket watch that was dangling from a pocket in his fur. "Your turn Arthur," He said as the music ceased and Grim Tuesday slowly pulled of the gauntlets.

As Arthur put the gauntlets on he started to think of what to do and then put is plan into motion as the Will bellowed out "GO!"

Using the power of the second key Arthur crafted a xylophone and played a catchy tune never heard by human nor denizen ears. Arthur stopped right when the Will said time, synchronizing his last tune with the chime of the Will's watch. Without the saying anything the Mariner immediately stepped forward and announced the winner.

"Grim Tuesday, I done heard that song **bee-foh**!" The Mariner said saying throwing his hands out towards Grim Tuesday who was several feet away from him. "I ain't hurd that song Arthur be playin' though, Arthur you win! That song was da shiznit!"

"NO, NO!" Grim Tuesday bellowed while shaking and punching a nearby palm tree.

"Yo man my mama planted dat tree! Get dat fool!" The Mariner yelled and ran towards Grim Tuesday to stop his from destroying the tree, the Will followed behind him.

The Will and the Mariner grabbed Grim Tuesday, but were too late because by the time they had got to him he had already thrown a large rock at the tree causing it to fall down with a loud crash. Grim Tuesday had tried to escape by rolling away from the Will and Mariner but was still apprehended.

"Dammmmmmmmmmn," Suzy said long and exaggeratedly, as if someone had done something spectacular.

"Speaking of Dam, I need to fix the wall that guards the House from the void of nothing!"

"Now that's what I call rock and roll!" Suzy said making a cheap joke by referring to the songs, the tree knocked down by the rock, and Grim Tuesday's attempt at escape by doing a dodge roll. No one was laughing, no one except Suzy.


	3. Arthur's Impecable Dream

**Ok, I was bored and decided to write up another story. I'm still deciding on if the next story I make will have a yo mama contest. Update soon to come!  
**

** Arthur's Impecable Dream**

_In Sir Thursday and Lady Friday Arthur has a couple of dreams consisting of him battling with New Nithlings and with him transforming into a denizen, but what about all the other dreams he had?_

Arthur had gained the key from Sir Thursday and with the help of the Will and his other friends he had repelled the New Nithling forces commanded by the Piper. Now Arthur lay in bed, tossing and turning restlessly as he dreamt of _questionable_ things.

"Mom I'm home!" Arthur shouted as he ran into his house which was apparently door less, causing Arthur to scratch his head at the strange happening.

"Good, now you can finally" Arthur's mom's voice got extremely deep, "**wash these dishes." **

Arthur jumped as him mom turned around revealing an extremely large frog head, just as he bolted to the door his dad walked in.

"Yo fifty cent what up!?!" His dad was ripped with large muscles and wore a white muscle shirt with extremely sagging blue jeans. On top of his head was a backwards hat that read, 'mista playa'. On top of all that he dressed up as a large rabbit.

Arthur looked around for the 'fifty cents' that his dad was talking about and found a silver shilling right beneath his feet. Almost instantly a man who looked exactly like a drill sergeant kicked down the door to Arthur's house that had not been there before.

"Oh snap! It's Dudley Do-Right!" Arthur's gangsta dad said whilst flipping his fingers around forming various signs.

"Will Stanton, Jim Nightshade, atten-hut!" The military official bellowed and picked up a penguin that approached his boots.

"Wrong book home girl!" Arthur's dad said tilting his head and snapping his fingers.

"Everybody" Arthur's mom said, her voice beginning to get deep, "**get out of my house!**"

Then Leaf came in and said, "I found the pocket and avoid the Nithling!"

"You iced that sucka!?!?!?" Arthur's dad asked.

"Hopping jiminy cricket, the Nithling isn't buried!" The drill sergeant, said while hugging the penguin which had grown twice his size.

"Lemme get muh gangsta cane!" Arthur's dad said running into his room and closing the door to it on his way in.

The penguin was now three times bigger than the drill instructor and started yelling, "WHERE'S MUH MAMA HOME DAWG!?!"

The drill instructor became enraged at the penguin's choice of words and yelled at Arthur's dad who had just entered the room with a baseball bat.

"Your ghetto fabulous grammar has altered my Empoleon's state of mind!"

"Dat cool, dat cool, I just got muh baseball bat cuz I ain't no where muh cane iz." Arthur's dad said brushing off his bunny suit shoulders.

"Mr. Gangsta rapper, take your 'hip' and 'hop' out of here!" Leaf said pulling out a CIA badge. No one was laughing at the corny joke, not even Arthur when he woke up from the strange dream.


	4. The Television

TV

_Arthur Penhaligon sat on the couch whilst nonchalantly flipping through several stations of his TV. After a great time of doing so he became extremely bored and began to fall asleep, flipping to the last television station. A catchy old western tune was played as a vehicle constructed of a large wheel sped down what Arthur had remembered to be Grim Tuesday's pit. _

Several denizens began to chant to the music as the giant wheel passed them_. "_Rollin', rollin', rollin', rollin', rollin', rollin' rollin'."

"Keep rollin' rollin' rollin'," Suzy said under her breath as she drove past a small group of overseers.

The scene then changed to show Grim Tuesday standing inside of his glass pyramid looking out towards his pit as he calmly rubbed his palms together.

"Whoa my pit is swollen." He said approvingly whilst nodding his head.

Suddenly a strange voice appeared out of nowhere as the scene changed back to Suzy speeding down the pit even faster than before. "Keep that tire rollin', RAWHIDE!"

"What the hell!?!?!" Arthur shouted as he jumped up from the couch.

He looked over to the TV to see that the television station was changed to TV Land and that the theme song for the old western show "Rawhide" was going off and the actual show itself was starting.

Arthur shook his head free of the dream as he picked up the remote and started to surf through channels once again looking for a decent program. Like before he slowly fell asleep shifting his gaze to the television to see what the station he had flipped to.

On the screen, was a giant _person _chained to a massive clock, next to him was a young boy who Arthur instantly recognized as his self, and soon remembered the giant was actually the Old One.

A slow tune started to play as the Old One began his musical. "I got **locked up**." He said as the music continued. "They won't let me out."

"They won't let you out?" The Arthur in the television sang as he dramatically threw his hands up in confusion.

"Yes Arthur, I'm **locked up**. They won't let me out."

"They won't let you out."

"I'm **locked up**, they won't let me out." The Old One said shaking his head.

Suddenly, the sound of jail doors closing rang from the television as the scene switched, but the song was still the same. Now the TV showed Arthur deep within a dark pit, commonly known as Grim Tuesday's demesne. Next to Arthur was a girl he knew as Suzy, she had came to rescue Arthur from the treacherous pit and had began to bombard him with questions such as, "What are you doing under here?" and "How come you're all dirty?"

Arthur had had enough of these questions and stood up and started to sing in the same tone and rhythm that he and the Old One did in the Coal Cellar. "I'm going to tell you what happened, but first you have to stop all that yappin', I got **locked up**."

"They won't you out?" Suzy said raising an eye brow.

"**They won't let me out**." Arthur said with finality.

"You're locked up?"

"_They won't let me out." _ Arthur said once again.

The sound of jail doors slamming went off again as Arthur blinked his eyes and turned off the television station. He was quite tired and had fell asleep watching TV, but now he was somewhat rested and wanted something else to do.

"I sound like Akon a little on TV." Arthur said, somewhat remembering where he had heard the song from.

Next to the couch he was sitting on there was a wooden table with a couple of books sitting on it. Figuring that reading would keep him awake, he picked up a book that had collections of short stories. He was already starting to feel sleepy…


	5. That Fool Friday

**Another little story I wrote, product of me being bored late at night. This one is a little bit different from the others, because it's not really centered on comedy as much, just pretty much a small fight with Friday's Noon and Tuesday's Noon. I've wanted to write about those two dueling for quite some time, but I wasn't able to figure out how to make it connect to the story plot. The fight may seem a little rushed and I'm sorry if it is, this really wasn't meant to be anything like SUPER long and drawn out. But anyways, I've done enough talking/typing XD, here's the story: **

"**That Fool Friday."**

Arthur heard Grim Tuesday say, _but why? Weren't all the Morrow Days buddies or something? It seemed like they all had there own little systematic way of doing things since Grim Tuesday was the obviously the one who created the needed items for the house. And besides, Friday is three days of head, meaning that whoever he or she is has control of a higher position of the house giving them a good distance from Tuesday. So what in the world could make Grim Tuesday so disgusted with Friday?_

As we all know, the House is full of many mysteries that are just begging to be answered, but like with anything else, you will never find the answers to everything, that is unless you are the bearer of the Complete Atlas to the House. Now, Arthur might have not had any of the keys with him, but what he did have was a small trace amount of residue from the energy of the first key.

But of course Arthur wasn't aware of that, for when after he finished his heavy pondering on Grim Tuesday's statement the Atlas exploded out of his pocket nearly startling him to death. The pocket sized hand book began to immediately grow to an incredibly large size as it burst out of Arthur's pocket and hit the grassy surface. The strange book continued to grow, and grow, and grow until it looked several times larger than any dictionary or extremely huge book.

If it wasn't for the fact that Arthur had somehow managed to keep his hand on the Atlas as it gained it's incredible size, the book would've shrunk back down to it' pocket book size just as quickly as it grew.

With the pages still blank, Arthur was kneeled down next to the book, his mouth agape in pure awe. As opposed to the traditional old styled hand writing, a still scene was sketched out in the book as if a video had been paused and the actors were all frozen in place. The scene showed Grim Tuesday standing amongst other very tall denizens, one of them Arthur recognized as Mister Monday. The other tall denizens each stood in front of three other tall denizens and with the same case as Mister Monday he only recognized the three denizens behind Monday, and they were his times, Dawn, Noon, and Dusk. They all seemed to be standing on a nicely cut lawn with a few trees around the area.

The seven superior denizens were having a discussion of some sort and one of them had said something to upset Grim Tuesday. It was safe to assume that this female denizen was obviously Lady Friday because Arthur heard the tallest denizen in the group say, "Lady Friday and Grim Tuesday, order!"

"Hmph, I don't have to take this! I will go back to my domain, but not without collecting what is owed from you Friday. By the power of the Second Key…"

Grim Tuesday's gauntlets began to emit a soft luminous light as he held his hand out towards Lady Friday.

"Noon, stop him! He will take my precious jewels!" Friday said to her Noon.

He wore a monocle that powerfully reflected light and made it difficult to look among him for a long amount of time. He had blues eyes and blonde hair, and look rather young. He stepped from behind Friday and grinned whilst nodding.

"A challenge you want is a challenge you will gain. Noon, battle Friday's Noon and show your might!" Grim Tuesday said as the metal gauntlets in his hands stopped glowing.

Tuesday's Noon was muscular, but not as muscular as Grim Tuesday. He had an average build and wore a leather apron with leather pants. Most of all importantly was that in his right hand he wielded a large sledge hammer with a pitch black head that was far more durable than titanium could ever be. He stood a few yards away from Friday's Noon and then the two exploded in the air, their pearly white wings bursting from behind them.

At first Tuesday's Noon thought that the battle would be fairly easy due to Friday's Noon being seemingly unarmed, but somewhere between mid-flight a needle thin rapier had materialized in his hands, unlike the fiery blade that Monday's Noon had wielded, this rapier had an icy blue blade that sent a bone chilling breeze through the air.

Let's see if my hammer will down you. Here!" Tuesday's Noon shouted as he swung the massive hammer. Friday's Noon could feel the wind pass his face as the blade missed his head. Luckily the attack missed, for if it hit home it surely would've beheaded the monocled Noon.

As Tuesday's Noon rocked forward from the force of the hammer missing, Friday's Noon used this as an advantage to launch his attack. He leaned forward some and with a swift sweep of the rapier he slashed Tuesday's Noon's lower torso, blue blood dripped leaked from under the Noon's slashed leather torso. As the blood dripped from the wound, it froze solid just as it fell from his body, obviously an effect of Friday's Noon's ice rapier.

Tuesday's Noon grimaced and flapped his wings powerfully, sending a buffet of wind towards Friday's Noon and pushing him backwards several yards. Tuesday's Noon quickly regained grip on his hammer with both of his hands and prepared to rush towards Friday's Noon.

Friday's Noon saw Tuesday's Noon coming towards him very quickly and tried to side-step him, only to have his dodge fail and was hit dead in the chest with the hammer, the blow would've surely killed any human or mortal. Friday's Noon yelled in pain as he flew backwards 20 yards and finally caught his self and re-gained his balance.

"Wielding that great hammer of yours you must be extremely tired, and the best cure for exhaustion is sleep." Friday's Noon said as his blue bladed rapier vanished.

He reached into his waist coat pocket and pulled out a silver cone, but he didn't move it to his mouth just yet.

"I think it is about time you slept Noon." Friday's Noon finished as he put the silver cone up to his mouth. "_Sleep Tuesday's Noon._" Friday's Noon's voice had became transformed into Lady Friday's and was very powerful to Tuesday's Noon.

Tuesday's Noon did not instantly fall asleep, but he felt the sudden urge to do so. His eyes were becoming heavy, and his great hammer was getting harder and harder to carry, this angered Grim Tuesday greatly.

"Scandal, trickery, deception! Lady Friday spell bound my Noon, there was to be no outside aids or interference with the duel!" Grim Tuesday bellowed angrily.

"Ha, once a buffoon always a buffoon, that was my Noon, he only used the cone to mask his voice as mine in order to halt your Noon's progress. It was a perfectly honorable and non-treacherous move; it's not my fault you don't think beyond the box with your times. Why, I bet that you've already conjured up plans on how you can get _more _times. To hell with Grim Tuesday, why not call you _Greedy _Tuesday." Lady Friday said making a mockery of the Morrow Day.

"Make a jest if you'd like, but we'll see who gets the last laugh. Second Key bring Friday's Noon here, **immediately**!"

Grim Tuesday's gauntlets began to glow once again as Friday's Noon felt his self literally being pulled towards Grim Tuesday.

"Fifth Key, I object! Withhold Tuesday's command and keep Noon still!" Friday shouted as Noon stood dead still in mid-air. "Key, fifth class, first rank executive elevator, to the Middle House."

An old fashioned elevator no larger than a telephone booth appeared in front of Lady Friday with a flash of white light as a small hand mirror began to glow in her hand. Friday calmly walked into the elevator as her Noon followed flying into it and stopping in one swift motion, like a hawk swooping into a tree. The elevator exploded into a burst of white light and shot straight up into a beam of white light, leaving the other Morrow Days and superior denizens still standing in the grassy terrain.

Just as the film finished, the last of the power from the first key was completely drained out of Arthur and the Atlas quickly slammed shut nearly scaring Arthur to death again, that still didn't stop Arthur from putting the guide to the House back in his pocket though. Grim Tuesday who had only seen the Atlas a few times before, and had rarely ever gotten a chance to use it was intrigued by the incredible book. Something deep from within him was telling him to get the Atlas and he started to immediately want it.

"The Atlas, I want you to take it out of your pocket and hand it to me." Grim Tuesday's said, raising his hand and making a claw.

"No...I won't…" Arthur weakly said, his voice barely being audible.

"Give me the Atlas, until you do you **will **know pain."

Grim Tuesday brought his raised hand down clawing the air. Arthur felt the pain of thousands of needles stabbing everywhere around his heart. Grim Tuesday's made a claw once more.

"Give me the Atlas boy!" Arthur heard Grim Tuesday say, but why?


End file.
